Saturday, April 19, 2008

white chicken chili


Those of you who know Todd know that I am blessed beyond words. He is the best husband a woman could ask for. That being said, we still have our differences.
A couple of years ago our church was having a chili cook off. I was going to make my famous tomato based chili and Todd wanted to try a new white chicken chili recipe he had found. Problem was, we only had one crock pot. So we passionately discussed what to do and I thought we agreed I'd make my chili. Todd offered to go to the store and came home with the ingredients for HIS chili.
He argued that we had decided on his chili. Well, even though I was sure I was right, there was that ever so small doubt in the back of my mind. Todd, on the other hand, is confident enough that there never was a doubt in his mind, I am sure. Over the years it has happened again and again. I think we have agreed on one thing, he thinks another. It has frustrated me to no end, until i found a secret weapon.
The kids.
I would get them to be part of the conversation and then I'd have witnesses (they didn't know they were my witnesses) to what we agreed on. Nine out of ten times I am right. But even so, Todd has never thought he was wrong, until tonight.

We decided to watch a movie, we were checking out the movies listed on "On Demand". Todd suggested "Martian Child"
and I wanted to watch "Saving Sarah Cane." Todd graciously said, "Honey, you don't get to watch movies very often, what do you want to watch? I said, " Well, I'm not sure if you will like this movie, but my choice is Saving Sarah Cane." Todd said, "ok! Katey if you are going to watch it with us run this laundry upstairs first."
She did.
She came back and the three of us sat down. Todd turned to the movie page and started to press the button for "Martian Child".
I said, "What are you doing?"
He said,"Starting the movie:"
"I thought we were watching Sarah Cane?
and then it happened......
Katey said, "SO DID I"
we replayed the whole conversation for him and he said, "Well that does sound vaguely familiar. (vaguely familiar? it was 5 minutes ago!)
and then I did the thing that therapists say you are not supposed to do. I brought up the past. Ah ha, and we probably never agreed on white chicken chili either. ( OK so in both cases we picked my choice...but that's a whole other blog.)
But then another amazing thing happened, he said, "This is the first time I remembered the past conversation and realized that I did this." We ended up not watching a movie, I decided to go upstairs and he decided to watch tv instead.
I felt vindicated, until the thought came to me. How often do I do that to God? He says one thing and I hear what I want to hear and then do my own thing. WOW. How can I be upset with Todd when I do that all the time?
So it came full circle. I realized that I have a lot more giving in to do with Todd and a lot more really listening to do with God.
On our next free evening I think I'll suggest we make white chicken chili and watch "Martian Child".

3 comments:

I think I'm blonde said...

now, is that white chicken chili recipe in the pic actually the one that Todd uses?? I love it-and use it as my own. (like your mac and cheese) I will actually replay entire conversations for Tom, and I'll even tell him where he was sitting, what we were wearing, etc! I've threatened to record our conversations to play back later....it's a good thing that God doesn't do that....I could be in trouble..esp with all the bargaining and pleading that happens at times.

Maureen Erickson said...

no, he got some fancy shmancy recipe. i just used the picture cause it was easy

Michelle TG said...

Loved this post! I can SO relate to the "feeling vindicated" and then moments later, seeing the MIRROR God places in front of my own life.

Thanks for sharing!
-Michelle TG